Few Conversation between Indian Customer Care and So Called Clever people of the world

Few Conversation between Indian Customer Care and So Called Clever people of the world


1) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."


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2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I
am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"



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3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

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4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

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5).Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the
screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech support : ##### ***

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6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####

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7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"

Customer : "Pentium."

Tech support : ////-----+++
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. Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an
illegal abortion."


Tech support : ??????

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9).Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Tech Support : ?!%#$
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10).Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"


Tech support : ??????

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11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need
to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."

Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"


Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."

Tech support : @@@@@
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12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're
open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

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13). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support : *** ---- ++++
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The best of the lot

14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to
report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.



Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the
startup and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.


Tech support::


10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The
tech is frustrated and fed up.


Tech supports hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but
there is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM < http://nosmoke.com/> at the
end of the
CONFIG.SYS . Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't
come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft
and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know
how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?



Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said,
and he started asking questions
about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with
NOSMOKE.


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Height Of all (Too Good)

15) customer care officer: I need a product identification number right
now and may I help u in
finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

Problem Solving ...

From:

http://fatpita.net/funpic/problemsolving.jpg

The 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 Rule: A few observations about being in a leadership position.

From :
The MineThatData Blog

Kevin Hillstrom's views on Multichannel Forensics and Database Marketing.





The 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 Rule: You'll find that your co-workers fall into three camps. About a third will support you through anything. About a third could take or leave you. Another third are generally against you. Your job is to do outstanding work, with integrity, so that the middle third sides with you, silencing the last third.

Save Your Pennies: For most, the ride eventually ends. So save your pennies.

Don't Listen To Them: Even if you do a good job, that silent third will tell you all the reasons why your ideas are bad. If you're doing an average job, or you are threatening the status quo, the remaining third becomes vocal --- very vocal. Don't listen to them. They will criticize anything you do.

Everybody Is Fighting A Great Battle: You can see this in the eyes of your employees. Somebody had a child who spent the entire evening throwing up. Another employee's mother just passed away. Yet another employee spilled a latte on his slacks. Everybody has problems that superceed work. To them, these problems are epic, mighty battles. Recognize this, and manage to it.

At Some Point, You Have To Choose Between People And Money: This is probably the biggest decision you'll have to make. Somewhere along your journey, you will be asked to drag your staff through mud in order for the business to make more money. If you want to go to Heaven, choose your staff. If you want to be a superstar, side with Money. If you figure out how to effectively deal with this tension, please let me know how to do it!

If You Are Working More Than Fifty Hours A Week, You Are Failing: Contrary to popular belief, the burned-out executive lifestyle is not all it is cracked-up to be. If you are working longer than 7-5 or 8-6 or 9-7, you are failing. Either your staff is not ready to take on more work, or you have failed to hire the right number of people to do the work, or you have failed to effectively say "NO" to projects. Every hour over fifty is one hour you will never get back with your spouse, children and hobbies.

Bad Behavior Is Your Fault: You need to set expectations in the first few days of your new assignment. The longer you let certain behaviors fester, the harder it gets to change them.

Honesty > Politics: You can make a choice to be honest with your folks, or you can be political and choose not to share non-confidential issues with them. Side with honesty. If you aren't honest and trustworthy, your folks will paint their own canvass. That leads to gossip. Gossip kills productivity, and gossip kills relationships between employees.

If You Did A Great Job In A Forest, And Nobody Saw You Do It, Did The Great Job Really Happen? At some point, you have to figure out, within your culture, how to effectively market you and your team. In many cases, the marketing of you and your team is more important than the outcome of the work you actually do.

Support Your Boss, Or Leave The Company: Some of my biggest mistakes happened when I did not support my boss. If something unethical is happening, tell somebody, and then consider leaving. If you have a difference of opinion, make the choice to support your boss and move on, or leave. Arguing gets you nowhere.

Know The Profit And Loss Statement Inside Out: Those who know the p&l know how to cost-justify projects and initiatives. Not surprisingly , these folks get things done.

If You Want To Be Appreciated, Lead When Sales Are Increasing: Ever notice how quick folks are to hire those who have worked at successful companies? You can do outstanding work at a failing company. But if your goal is to be an upwardly mobile executive, align yourself with the updraft. A whole generation of online marketers and search experts are doing this as we speak. You don't hear a lot of "He did a spectacular job of keeping CD sales flat at Tower Records", do you?

Do Not Fall In Love Your Company: The blogosphere is filled with marketing experts promoting the myriad benefits of 'brands', with an adoration seldom paralleled in society. We focus a disproportionate amount of energy on the magical power of Apple, or Nike, or Starbucks, thinking any company or any idea can result in the success Apple, Nike or Starbucks experienced. Build the brand!!! We offer advice for every brand (improve your customer service, clean up your stores, give me a free phone, listen to your customers, do these things and we'll love you). When is the last time a 'brand' loved a person? When is the last time a company was there for a person when something awful happened to the person? Leaders can be there for people. Co-workers are usually there for people. The Human Resources department is there for people. Brands are never there for people. The purpose of a brand is to facilitate the transfer of wealth from customers to shareholders. When this transfer of money is not happening as efficiently as it should happen, your job is in jeopardy. The 'brand' will chew you up and spit you out in a heartbeat if the 'brand' thinks you are in some way impeding the re-distribution of wealth. Fall in love with your company, and your feelings will inevitably be hurt when your brand turns on you.

Celebrate The Victories: There are untold victories in everyday work life. Appreciate and recognize people for making these things happen. I can certainly improve my skills on this one.

Give Credit: Your people are responsible for everything that happens. You may think your vision is legendary, even bordering on brilliant. Your vision doesn't happen without your people --- people who put aside their dreams to make your dreams come true.

Please add to this list, offer your contributions based on what you've learned.

What does love mean?

.... An article that I read the other day........


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,

"What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6

(We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a
contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly
gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"