40-ish ........................ 49.
Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.
Athletic ...................... No breasts
Average looking .......... Moooo.
Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure ... On medication.
Feminist .................... Fat
Free spirit .................. Junkie
Friendship first .......... Former slut.
New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs.
Open-minded ............. Desperate
Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional .............. Bitch
Voluptuous ................ Very Fat
Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ....... Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay
PS If you're offended, I apologize, but don't take things so personal
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
fun things to do.. when u want to fast forward time..
Bored? Listless? Help is at hand!
Pass away the pointless hours with our list of things to do when you're bored
Things you can do with absolutely nothing
Things you can do with very little
Things you can do with another person
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Push your eyes for interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things your subconscious is trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV?
See how long you can hold your breath
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible. My personal best is 2:00 (exactly).
Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.
Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.
Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.
Hurt yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.
Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible.
Pretend to be a car
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.
Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
top
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH VERY LITTLE
See what's in your neighbour's rubbish/trash
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes)
You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR or some porn mags.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
Play our useless games
(Amusement Potential: how long have you got?)
Waste away the hours with our collection of useless games
Make prank phone calls
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes)
Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.
Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
Try and sound Welsh
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?
Burn things with a magnifying glass
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes)
Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.
top
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
Have a water drinking contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
Pass away the pointless hours with our list of things to do when you're bored
Things you can do with absolutely nothing
Things you can do with very little
Things you can do with another person
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
Push your eyes for interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things your subconscious is trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV?
See how long you can hold your breath
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible. My personal best is 2:00 (exactly).
Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.
Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.
Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.
Hurt yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.
Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible.
Pretend to be a car
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.
Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
top
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH VERY LITTLE
See what's in your neighbour's rubbish/trash
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes)
You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR or some porn mags.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
Play our useless games
(Amusement Potential: how long have you got?)
Waste away the hours with our collection of useless games
Make prank phone calls
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes)
Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.
Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
Try and sound Welsh
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?
Burn things with a magnifying glass
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes)
Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.
top
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
Have a water drinking contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
Friday, January 06, 2006
yavaag foreign ge?" (When are u going to)
Got this mail a while back.. a funny yet realistic outlook
on the aunts and uncles who sometimes.. become a tad bit bothersome
to the indian techies..
Fwd:
It is lengthy but about our current life….
"....yavaag foreign ge?" (When are u going to
foreign?)
The familiar sentence is arguably one of the most
frequently asked questions, losing only slightly to
the even more grave one "...yavaag maduve?" (When are
u getting married?) to someone who unluckily happens
to be in the IT Industry and in Bangalore. There was
never a better conversation topic for the older
generation to suck every drop of blood the poor bloke
manages to save despite working as a techie.
It's a wave that everyone wants to be part of, and
everyone wants to show they know. The word computer is
now a house-hold name. A good relief for many topic
starved aunties and uncles, but our poor techie gets
stuck like a nail that's half into the wood when its
head decides to painfully break lose.
The popular following that IT has gotten in recent
years has been more due to the lucrative travel, than
what the techie believes is due to his work. This time
it is the uncles who have the upper hand in making a
conversation, owing to some 'extra' knowledge, thanks
to 'external' contacts. Aunties resign to just asking
"...yenappa computer aa?" (literally means "are u a
computer?", but it is supposed to be "Are you working
in the IT field?" One must be ready to field a volley
of smirks and barrage of questions, if the victim
answers a "no", though it would be the right answer
for such a question. For if you are not part of the
bandwagon, and then you'd rather term yourself a
foolish old crackpot and be happy with that, than get
a loathsome look from the omnipresent aunty.
IT has such a popular following here, most do not know
what they are following, but just drift along to be
'seen'. Our aunty gets into her form, and asks our
techie, "you computer, my son also computer" ...our
techie, just out of a ctrl-alt-tab-enter, has no idea
how to respond to this inhuman portrayal, by the
aunty, of her son. He just smiles and says "wonderful
aunty, which company?" and is hardly interested in
what he hears. The aunty carries on. " nun maga
sapoo" (my son sapoo) ...the indianised MNC becomes
"sapoo" from SAP, while our techie replies back, "I
work for GE".aunty is a bit concerned on hearing that,
and blurts out "is it a good company ? didn't u get in
infosys ?"...techie is at his wits end to explain;
aunty is in no mood to understand. aunt's techie son
is blushing ear to ear.
while the general social understanding of an IT
company hovers between Infosys and Wipro, some good
souls give respect to "Vorakal" too. So aunties are
generally happy if one is from any of these companies.
The other companies will only mean a detailed
interrogation about the techie's academic credentials,
past criminal record, if any, and a sure minus point
as a prospective groom.
It is the conversation between aunties that is the
funniest and amazingly astonishing. Recently one of my
cousins went onsite, and I being the scape goat, who
still 'had' to be in India, was the butt of all
discussions.
aunty1: "foreign ge yaavaga ivnu hogodu?" (when is he
going onsite?)
aunty2: "gothilla, innenu swalpa divsdalley
hogthaaneno" (He might go in some days!)
aunty1: "hmmm...they say only brilliants (sic) are
sent onsite"
aunty2: "that's true!"
I was being murdered inch by inch, neat and clean. My
reputation in tatters.
This is even bearable, but get this, if a techie
manages to stumble on an onsite travel but is
cancelled on that last millisecond, and then his
future is doomed, for aunties will have a field day
dissecting him and nailing him for not working well at
the office. I have been most unfortunate in this case,
so much so that if I had got a call to abort the
travel 2 seconds later than what I got, I might have
had to jump off the plane mid-air.
aunties started flowing in from early evening that
day, some trying to stay oblivious of the situation,
some trying hard to keep a straight face, and a few
more giving their own versions of my story, which by
the way I never told anyone!...well one aunty even had
the nerve to ask me "did you have a fight with your
manager?". well I was kind enough to say "no aunty,
project got scrapped ", only to realize that the aunty
had no idea what a project meant, and instead pressed
me to agree that I had indeed done some
mistake...finally she let me go when I blurted out "my
manager had a fight with the airlines"....well that
was enough for me to roll over on the floor and laugh
at her, despite the 'humiliation' of not going onsite.
uncles are not far off, and are ever more eager to
learn 'computers'. One uncle was particularly curious
to know as to why we guys were paid for playing
computer games !...apparently he was of this view
after he had seen his 9 year old son only playing
games on his newly bought comp. I knew better than to
explain, so I told him that it was because if we won,
the company would get money. uncle's spirits rose, and
in all probability he would have gone home and
pestered his innocent 9 year old son to teach him to
play games in the hopes of joining a IT company in
future !
uncles are a little more "knowledgeable" though. One
uncle came to me one day, when I made the suicidal
mistake of attending a social gathering full of
aunties and uncles, and asked me as to which company I
worked for, and I answered him hoping he would stop
there. however , uncle had no such intention and
carried on " yaav language ?" (which language)
...though stunned, i replied back "c sharp uncle"
...uncle's face glowed and then he said " nun maga
Java , c# bidhoithanthey!" (My son works on JAVA, C
sharp has long fallen from grace) ..In most uncles
view, languages are like company shares, the value of
which keeps fluctuating on an hourly basis.
Though salary is something of a sensitive issue,
uncles don't give didly-squat about that and continue
questioning the techie on the same. I was ripped apart
when i told my uncle that my gross was 25k, to which
my uncle in suspended euphoria exclaimed that his son
earned 2.5 lakh per month at onsite. Having no room to
argue, i kept mum, when my uncle went off again "why
don't u ask your manager for a raise".... I told him i
would consider his advice and ask, though my manager
was bit of a dragon, unlike my uncle's son's manger,
who was a saint just short of a halo!
Even weirder is the funny way in which people take
those mails managers send to techies and their team,
as to the good work being done. one of my cousins who
recently joined my company got such a mail from his
manager, and he thought it was a good idea to take a
print out and show it to his father, a folly he still
regrets to this day. My uncle not only read the copy,
but made a hundred photocopies and distributed it as
pamphlets to his near and dear ones. My dad got one
too, and i had to field some intense questioning at
home, since i had not managed to get one such letter
even once ! i had even gone to the extent of thinking
about printing one on my own just to escape the
'humiliation'.
while it's often funny to listen to the weird
misconceptions people have about IT, it gets
irritating if it goes too far. It would be a boring
place without the aunties and the uncles, but it would
be a wonderful place, if they knew better than to draw
conclusions about one's work, of which they know so
less about !
on the aunts and uncles who sometimes.. become a tad bit bothersome
to the indian techies..
Fwd:
It is lengthy but about our current life….
"....yavaag foreign ge?" (When are u going to
foreign?)
The familiar sentence is arguably one of the most
frequently asked questions, losing only slightly to
the even more grave one "...yavaag maduve?" (When are
u getting married?) to someone who unluckily happens
to be in the IT Industry and in Bangalore. There was
never a better conversation topic for the older
generation to suck every drop of blood the poor bloke
manages to save despite working as a techie.
It's a wave that everyone wants to be part of, and
everyone wants to show they know. The word computer is
now a house-hold name. A good relief for many topic
starved aunties and uncles, but our poor techie gets
stuck like a nail that's half into the wood when its
head decides to painfully break lose.
The popular following that IT has gotten in recent
years has been more due to the lucrative travel, than
what the techie believes is due to his work. This time
it is the uncles who have the upper hand in making a
conversation, owing to some 'extra' knowledge, thanks
to 'external' contacts. Aunties resign to just asking
"...yenappa computer aa?" (literally means "are u a
computer?", but it is supposed to be "Are you working
in the IT field?" One must be ready to field a volley
of smirks and barrage of questions, if the victim
answers a "no", though it would be the right answer
for such a question. For if you are not part of the
bandwagon, and then you'd rather term yourself a
foolish old crackpot and be happy with that, than get
a loathsome look from the omnipresent aunty.
IT has such a popular following here, most do not know
what they are following, but just drift along to be
'seen'. Our aunty gets into her form, and asks our
techie, "you computer, my son also computer" ...our
techie, just out of a ctrl-alt-tab-enter, has no idea
how to respond to this inhuman portrayal, by the
aunty, of her son. He just smiles and says "wonderful
aunty, which company?" and is hardly interested in
what he hears. The aunty carries on. " nun maga
sapoo" (my son sapoo) ...the indianised MNC becomes
"sapoo" from SAP, while our techie replies back, "I
work for GE".aunty is a bit concerned on hearing that,
and blurts out "is it a good company ? didn't u get in
infosys ?"...techie is at his wits end to explain;
aunty is in no mood to understand. aunt's techie son
is blushing ear to ear.
while the general social understanding of an IT
company hovers between Infosys and Wipro, some good
souls give respect to "Vorakal" too. So aunties are
generally happy if one is from any of these companies.
The other companies will only mean a detailed
interrogation about the techie's academic credentials,
past criminal record, if any, and a sure minus point
as a prospective groom.
It is the conversation between aunties that is the
funniest and amazingly astonishing. Recently one of my
cousins went onsite, and I being the scape goat, who
still 'had' to be in India, was the butt of all
discussions.
aunty1: "foreign ge yaavaga ivnu hogodu?" (when is he
going onsite?)
aunty2: "gothilla, innenu swalpa divsdalley
hogthaaneno" (He might go in some days!)
aunty1: "hmmm...they say only brilliants (sic) are
sent onsite"
aunty2: "that's true!"
I was being murdered inch by inch, neat and clean. My
reputation in tatters.
This is even bearable, but get this, if a techie
manages to stumble on an onsite travel but is
cancelled on that last millisecond, and then his
future is doomed, for aunties will have a field day
dissecting him and nailing him for not working well at
the office. I have been most unfortunate in this case,
so much so that if I had got a call to abort the
travel 2 seconds later than what I got, I might have
had to jump off the plane mid-air.
aunties started flowing in from early evening that
day, some trying to stay oblivious of the situation,
some trying hard to keep a straight face, and a few
more giving their own versions of my story, which by
the way I never told anyone!...well one aunty even had
the nerve to ask me "did you have a fight with your
manager?". well I was kind enough to say "no aunty,
project got scrapped ", only to realize that the aunty
had no idea what a project meant, and instead pressed
me to agree that I had indeed done some
mistake...finally she let me go when I blurted out "my
manager had a fight with the airlines"....well that
was enough for me to roll over on the floor and laugh
at her, despite the 'humiliation' of not going onsite.
uncles are not far off, and are ever more eager to
learn 'computers'. One uncle was particularly curious
to know as to why we guys were paid for playing
computer games !...apparently he was of this view
after he had seen his 9 year old son only playing
games on his newly bought comp. I knew better than to
explain, so I told him that it was because if we won,
the company would get money. uncle's spirits rose, and
in all probability he would have gone home and
pestered his innocent 9 year old son to teach him to
play games in the hopes of joining a IT company in
future !
uncles are a little more "knowledgeable" though. One
uncle came to me one day, when I made the suicidal
mistake of attending a social gathering full of
aunties and uncles, and asked me as to which company I
worked for, and I answered him hoping he would stop
there. however , uncle had no such intention and
carried on " yaav language ?" (which language)
...though stunned, i replied back "c sharp uncle"
...uncle's face glowed and then he said " nun maga
Java , c# bidhoithanthey!" (My son works on JAVA, C
sharp has long fallen from grace) ..In most uncles
view, languages are like company shares, the value of
which keeps fluctuating on an hourly basis.
Though salary is something of a sensitive issue,
uncles don't give didly-squat about that and continue
questioning the techie on the same. I was ripped apart
when i told my uncle that my gross was 25k, to which
my uncle in suspended euphoria exclaimed that his son
earned 2.5 lakh per month at onsite. Having no room to
argue, i kept mum, when my uncle went off again "why
don't u ask your manager for a raise".... I told him i
would consider his advice and ask, though my manager
was bit of a dragon, unlike my uncle's son's manger,
who was a saint just short of a halo!
Even weirder is the funny way in which people take
those mails managers send to techies and their team,
as to the good work being done. one of my cousins who
recently joined my company got such a mail from his
manager, and he thought it was a good idea to take a
print out and show it to his father, a folly he still
regrets to this day. My uncle not only read the copy,
but made a hundred photocopies and distributed it as
pamphlets to his near and dear ones. My dad got one
too, and i had to field some intense questioning at
home, since i had not managed to get one such letter
even once ! i had even gone to the extent of thinking
about printing one on my own just to escape the
'humiliation'.
while it's often funny to listen to the weird
misconceptions people have about IT, it gets
irritating if it goes too far. It would be a boring
place without the aunties and the uncles, but it would
be a wonderful place, if they knew better than to draw
conclusions about one's work, of which they know so
less about !
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